Manager That Asks You About Your Weekend Really Doesn’t Care and Secretly Hates You

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Manager that Asks About Your Weekend Doesn’t Care and Secretly Hates You

ATLANTA, GA – The manager that winds his way down the row of cubicles on Monday morning to ask you about your weekend really doesn’t give a shit, sources confirmed today.  The small talk and pleasantries are a cover for his secret distaste of your tired, overworked ass.
 
“Management assigned me an executive coach after my employee engagement scores bottomed out,” said Peter F., an operations manager for a large Fortune 500 company.  “They told me that if I was in the military, my soldiers would have put hand grenades in my sleeping bag.  So now, I have to be more personable and approachable.”
 
Most employees, however, recognize the glassy look in the manager’s eyes as soon as they start recounting the events of Saturday morning.
 
“As soon as I mentioned my son, Nicholas, and his soccer game this past weekend, he broke eye contact and pulled out his smartphone,” said Linda, an account representative on Peter’s team.  “I was going to tell him that Nicholas was going to be in a tournament next week, when Peter screamed ‘laser tag’ and ran back to his office.”
 
“The executive coach told me that I should do more team building activities.  When Donna started droning on about her daughter’s soccer game, I came up with a great idea to do laser tag with the entire team,” Peter said.
 
When surveyed, the team unanimously agreed that more team building would increase levels of trust and commitment.
 
“I have no intent on actually following through with any offsite activity, but it will get management off my ass if I put something on the calendar,” Peter said.  “I wanted to get promoted and make more money, but now I have people under me.  Seriously, I don’t want to spend any more time with them than I have to.”
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Written by Jay

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