Manager Fired After Forcing Employees to Participate in Game of Thrones Workplace
For the employees of DigiTech, Inc., winter is here. Ryan Broadwell, Director of Financial Services, recently finished reading Leadership Secrets of King Joffrey and decided that he should be ruler of the 7 departments. He quickly formed alliances with Accounts Receivable and Payroll.
Things quickly spun out of control when Broadwell and his team tried to make leaders in the Accounting department bend the knee during an inter-department luncheon. An employee was seen running from the breakroom, screaming warnings to others.
“Don’t go in there. I thought it was a free buffet and it turned into the red wedding,” he shouted. He scanned the cubicles in front of him and zeroed in on another employee. “I also saw Jonah steal someone’s lunch from the breakroom refrigerator again.”
“I’m tired of being accused of stealing lunches. I demand trial by combat!” Jonah shouted. The office erupted in cheers as Jonah ran out of the building and into the warehouse to find one of the forklift drivers to be his champion.
Before the facilities manager could intervene, several members of the marketing team greeted him off the elevator with staple guns.
“This is for The Watch,” they shouted as they repeatedly thrust staples into his chest. “You let those wildling sales reps have offices on our floor.”
While some employees were quick to devolve into medieval justice, others were completely baffled by what was going on in the workplace.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on around here,” cried Lillian Martinez. “Maggie from the customer service team is parading a naked intern down the hallway while screaming ‘shame, shame, shame.'”
Other employees were content to watch events unfold.
“I drink,” said Tyson “Tyrion” McManus as he pulled a flask from his desk drawer. “No, I don’t know things. I just drink.”
As fragile alliances between finance and operations began to crumble, the senior executive team arrived to put an end to the workplace madness.
“Oh no, it’s the White Walkers!” someone screamed as the team of executives came marching down the hall. “Hey, Hodor, I told you to keep that door closed! I swear by the old gods and the new ones I’m kicking your ass when this is over.”
“Stop calling me Hodor,” shouted a large employee from Accounts Payable.
Within the hour, Broadwell was fired and the workplace went back to resembling the streets of Meereen in Slaver’s Bay. Somewhere in the corner of the building someone whispered, “The north cubicles remember.”