Manager Confident that Hanging More Workplace Safety Posters is the Key to Workplace Safety

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Manager Confident that Hanging More Workplace Safety Posters is the Key to Workplace Safety

DENVER, CO – When Bertha Larson received 20 stitches after an 8″x11″ wooden frame from the family shrine erected in her cubicle crashed onto her head, management dismissed it as a one-time incident. When Alex Brunswick spilled his Starbucks, with a temperature comparable to liquid magma, on a coworker and caused 3rd degree burns, employees shrugged it off. But when a lit can of Sterno turned Yasmin Hernandez into the human torch during the department luncheon, Toby Thurston had enough.

Thurston is the Director of Environmental Health and Safety for Gillimax, Inc. and he knows all about workplace safety.

“Damnit, we need bigger posters,” Thurston said. “The small posters hanging in the breakroom are obviously not big enough. Only when the posters are bigger will we stop having accidents.”

Others remain skeptical.

“Who the hell is that guy? Is he the guy that leads the snooze-fest in the employee orientation?” asked one executive. Thurston’s most notable role in the company to date is delivering the mandatory brief on workplace safety to glassy-eyed new hires.

“Oh, sure, my presentations are boring now. Everyone got upset when I showed the accident pictures,” Thurston said in his defense. He was referring to pictures that showed a human hand that resembled a slightly undercooked filet that was run through a paper shredder. After several employees fainted, Thurston was forced to remove the pictures from the presentation. “Do you know what the Xerox machine can do to the human body? You might as well place a wood chipper in the center of the office.”

Now, Thurston’s plan relies strictly on large placards strategically placed on the bulletin board behind the door in employee common areas.

“Employees will notice bigger posters and have no choice but to comply with all the safety tips and guidelines presented,” Thurston said. “Maybe someday, we’ll even have a safety video. That would almost eliminate the chance of an accident on site.”

Executives promised to give Thurston 3 minutes on the next staff meeting agenda to discuss the idea, assuming there is time after talking about business related topics.

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Written by Jay


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