Salesperson Books Order; Every Employee Comped on the Deal

Just for Fun

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Salesperson Books Order; Every Employee Comped on the Deal

AUSTIN, TX – Julia Campbell, a new sales rep for DigiTech, Inc. was excited to book her very first deal with the company.  Her coworkers took turns running past her cubicle to give her a warm high-five and shower her with congratulatory words of praise.  Even colleagues outside of sales, many whom she never saw before, gave her accolades as she passed them in the hallway.  Campbell could hardly hold in her excitement as she logged into the company network to check her commission on the $10k deal.  Her efforts reaped 32 cents.

“Motherhell,” coworkers heard her scream before Campbell executed a perfect Muy Thai kick straight through her computer monitor.  

Peers and superiors were baffled when Campbell stormed out of the building and then drove her SUV through the neatly manicured hedges in front corporate headquarters.

“I think she was upset with her commission,” said her manager, Matthew Chambers.  “Sales are a team effort and we rightfully need to compensate all of those involved in any sale.  Sure, I get a cut.  I’m the one mentoring and coaching reps so they can make the sale.”

When asked if Chambers was present when Campbell met with the customer or closed the deal, he responded, “Oh, hell, no.  Do you think I have time to babysit every sales rep?  My work happens behind the scenes.”

“We were very active during the process as well,” said Campbell’s peers who were also named on the deal.  “When she brought the customer in for a site visit, I said hello and offered if I could get them anything.  When she was on the phone negotiating some pricing options with the customer, she looked over at my counterpart, Doug, and he gave her a firm nod that gave Campbell the confidence to ask for a higher price.  We both share in her success.”

Campbell’s manager and peers weren’t the only ones taking a piece of the action.  In fact, after an exhaustive search, it was hard to find anyone in the 12,000 person company that didn’t see themselves as part of the sale.

“Did you notice how clean the lobby was?” asked custodian Eric Jackson.  “Of course you didn’t.  I’m the one that keeps you from noticing by keeping it clean, but not too clean.  That prevents the sales team from getting distracted.  You don’t have to thank me, just make sure my commission check is on time.”

Julia Campbell couldn’t be reached for comment.  She was last seen working at a retail outlet, beating her head into clothing rack.

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Written by Jay

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