Mandalorian Files HR Complaint for Hostile Work Environment, Resigns

Just for Fun

By In Weekly Email 2 minute read time

CHANDRILA, CORE WORLDS – HR representatives in central command of the New Republic were caught off guard today when Dyn Jarren, known to many coworkers as The Mandalorian, filed a formal complaint against his employer for hostile work environment.

“Sure, I earn a lot of Beskar steel on the job, but a simple thank you every now and then wouldn’t hurt either,” said Dyn Jarren.  “I’m tired of the derogatory nicknames too.  My boss, Greef Karga, is always yelling at me in front of my peers, saying ‘Mando’ this and ‘Mando’ that.  I have an actual name, you know?”   

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said Greef Karga when interviewed by outside sources, “it’s strictly business here in the bounty hunter guild.  Sure, we have a bit of a bro culture, but what do you expect when you have some of the most dangerous creatures in the galaxy working here?”

“Are you kidding?” Dyn Jarren said in response.  “What about comments like, ’hey, let’s see your Darksaber’?  It’s completely inappropriate.  Do you think baby Yoda has to put up with stuff like this?”

According to the complaint, Dyn Jarren was forced to work in cramped, non-ergonomic conditions aboard a Sandcrawler where he was constantly harassed by Jawas.

“I couldn’t really speak their language, but I know they were threatening me,” said Dyn Jarren.  “I may have disintegrated a few of them, but that’s no reason why we can’t all be professional with one another.  The only coworker who treated me with respect was a droid named, IG-11.  He was a good partner.  I feel a little bad that I had to blast him in the head.”

When pressed for more details, Greef Karga admitted that some working conditions might have been less than optimal.

“Did I actually shoot at him with my blaster and try to kill him? Yes, I did,” said Greef Karga. “I know how it looks but I assure you, I only wanted him dead for breaking company policy.  I treat all my employees equally, and I promise you, I would try to kill each one of them if they did the same thing.  It’s totally fair.”

Despite the allegations of misconduct, Greef Karga was still optimistic that Dyn Jarren would remain with the guild.

“We still have lots of work to do,” said Greef Karga.  “Jar Jar Binks is going to be nominated for a key position in the senate.”

“Okay, this one is on me,” said the Mandalorian.  “But, after this pro bono work, I’m taking my helmet off, buying a jet pack, and finding a new job.”

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Written by Jay

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