Company Institutes 15-Minute Meeting Rule; Manager Holds Meetings Every 15 Minutes

Just for Fun

By In Weekly Email 2 minute read time

After numerous employee complaints about the length of meetings that have sapped productivity and lowered morale, management at your company is taking action.  Effective immediately, all managers and supervisors must adhere to the “15-minute meeting rule.” This mandate ensures that any meeting held with more than 2 people must be 15 minutes or less.

Despite the intent of the new policy, your manager has decided to now hold 15-minute meetings every 15 minutes.   

“We all know that life is a marathon and not a sprint,” your manager said. “But this is like doing consecutive sprints to complete a marathon.  It’s way more effective.”

Several of your peers were last seen weeping quietly at their desks.

“I used to hold 2-hour staff meetings every week,” you manager continued.  “Now, I hold 15-minute staff meetings Monday through Friday.  I can feel the progress every day.  In addition, I can now hold daily one-on-ones, coaching calls, project updates, and ad hoc meetings as I think of them.”

“Make the bad man stop,” sobbed a company 10-year veteran.  Your coworkers could not respond since they were rushing to the conference room to join the next meeting.

“I have 11 meetings with my boss in one day.  I don’t get this much face time with my 2 kids,” a coworker said.  “Did I say 2 kids?  I think I have 3 now.  Dammit, I need to get home more often.”

Employees who have recently volunteered to increase their business travel to Barrow, Alaska in January to avoid any meetings are reminded that the company has just acquired video conferencing capabilities to allow you to participate in meetings virtually from anywhere in the world.

“I don’t why everyone is complaining,” said an employee in your department who you have no idea what he does.  “I haven’t actually done any work in years, but I’m really good at nodding my head and being vocal in meetings.”

Employees with questions or concerns are encouraged to set up several 15-minute meeting sessions with their manager to discuss.

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Written by Jay

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